After Landon and Jamie break up, definitely. Madison comes back to the room and finds Landon moping on the couch.
“Are you ok?” asks Madison while she sits on the couch.
“Madison, we need to talk,” says Landon.
“About what?” asks Madison.
“Whatever. I just miss our late night conversations from your dorm room to my apartment,” smiles Landon.
“Yeah those were great. Good thing I had unlimited minutes after 9pm, or something like that. I just feel good when I talk to you. You know the right things to say good or bad,” smiles Madison.
“Right back at you,” replies Landon.
“So, how’s life treating you?” asks Madison.
“You mean how’s Jamie treating you, right?” replies Landon.
“No, but if you want to talk about Jamie all night, go right ahead. I’m here to listen. Something is wrong, I know that for sure,” says Madison.
“Do you know when you do something that seems impulsively but in the end it’s for the right reasons?” questions Landon.
“I don’t know what you’re saying” admits Madison.
“Me either,” smiles Landon, “So, seeing anyone special up at UMass?”
“Haha,” chuckles Madison, “What do you think? Ok, no one serious. No, there’s no guy in my life. You know what I mean.”
“It’s hard finding someone. Geez. There are billions of people on Earth and only one person is right for you. Some crazy odds,” says Landon.
“If you think like that, you’re never going to find that person,” says Madison.
“But it’s so hard dating because I always wonder if the girl I’m seeing is seeing me for who I am or just seeing my soccer goals,” confesses Landon.
“What happened?” asks Madison.
“A few girls I went out with didn’t connect with me. They connect with soccer. I just didn’t connect with them either,” says Landon.
“Don’t judge people too early. Get to know them. I mean, I’ve known you all my life and it’s taken us that long to be good friends. But that whole love thing, I know what you mean. I’m just scared that someone is going to break down the walls that I put up and then end the relationship. I know I don’t make sense. But it’s real hard for me to express my feelings. I just don’t like getting hurt. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, so I’ve never known what it’s like to care for other people. It’s always been me, my mom and my dad in the military and that’s all I’ve cared for, and you of course. LD, you’re like the brother I’ve never had,” says Madison.
“I don’t see how guys don’t want to get to know you. You are a great girl and a best friend. You think of me as a brother? A brother, Madison?” says a puzzled Landon.
“Something wrong with that?” asks Madison, “You know what I mean, you are my best friend. You didn’t mind me describing our relationship like brother and sister before. What is really wrong?”
“I’m going for a walk,” says Landon. When Landon says he’s going for a walk, he goes for a walk. Chasing after Landon does no good. He is as stubborn as Madison when it comes to opening up to each other. Who is telling the truth about their feelings?
I feel bad, I feel bad not knowing what’s going on with Landon. We have not talked much for the past day and it’s really bothering me. For once, I don’t know what’s going on with Landon. I don’t know what’s going on with myself. I saw where the conversation we had was leading up to. Ok, Landon and I do not have that brother-sister relationship. He has Tristan for that. We’re best friends, with a lot of history. But we both have two different lives in two different coasts of the US. Who am I trying to convince this to, my diary or myself? I think it’s obvious, I’m in love with Landon. He’s just one of those guys I can have fun with, someone I just would love to be with. But Landon is right, there is one girl for every guy. I don’t think it’s me. He’ll find someone in Cali who he’ll fall for, just not me. I’ll be headed up to UMass in four weeks…
[Feedback] . [Chapter 6]